Like many of you, when I saw the trailer for the Sonic movie, I reacted with a mixture of fear, confusion, and sheer, nightmare inducing horror. The human teeth, the weird body hair, the fact that “Gangsta’s Paradise” was the music they used. Everything they chose to do with this trailer seemed to be poised for and absolute train wreck of a movie. Hell, this was practically foreshadowed months ago with every teaser they released, showing more and more of the horror that was to come.

If you only knew the horror of what awaited you. Courtesy of Paramount

So naturally, when the trailer came out, the internet’s reaction was loud, horrified, and memed into oblivion. Additionally, there were a lot of artist in the comments offering up redesigns, right next to the other comments like “Oh god, fix it before it’s too late” and “KILL IT WITH FIRE.” The reaction was so loud that, for what I think might be the first time in history, the director actually heard it and responded.

Gotta fix fast indeed, Jeff.

I gotta say, this may be the first time I’ve seen internet scream so loud that actual change to a movie character’s design was made. Not to say public outcry hasn’t yielded results before, but I’d never seen it happen as fast as it did with the Sonic movie (appropriate I suppose, given it’s Sonic). He then followed it up later with another announcement, saying the movie was being delayed to make these redesigns.

But I want my horror now!

So with that, the internet sighed a collective sigh of relief, as judgment day had been postponed and fixes were being made. However, I find myself just a little bit disappointed with all of this. See, with Sonic looking normal (Well, normal for sonic anyway) the movie is just gonna be another live action cartoon movie for kids. They pump like 6 of those out every year, and nobody really notices them because they’re just so bland and unoriginal. The only way any of them pick up any traction is if they’re absolute trash fires like “The Emoji Movie.”

The less said about this movie, the better off humanity as a whole will be

The point is, I was actually looking forward to seeing this train wreck as originally intended. Sure, Sonic may look like an eldritch monstrosity that will drive the sanity from your body the more you look at him, but fixing that just means it’ll be just another mediocre movie. The design was just the first of what is sure to be many problems, but without the biggest one staring you in the face all the time, it’s going to be worse than horrible.

It’s going to be forgettable.

Posted by Austin Hamblen, Owner and Main writer of Endlessmonkey.com

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